Merry Xmas and Happy NewYear 2012

Dear Friends and Family....

We Wish you a Wonderful Xmas and Happy New Year !!

Hope 2012 brings all the Joy and Prosperity that you ever dreamed and wished for.

Live Long and Prosper !!!

With Warm Best Wishes

-From our Family to Yours.

Build Child's Attitude or Grades

Nov 15th 2011

Recently I had the opportunity to participate in a discussion panel consisting of Parents, Students and Teachers at White Filed Global School in Bangalore. The headline was War of Words and the topic was " Are Marks the only Criteria to Judge the Child's or Person's ability ??"It was quite an experience to watch the kids ( Std 6th to 10th grade) participate and have a strong hold on either side of the debate or discussion.

One student quoted from the 3 idiots movie "Life is a race..if you don't run fast ..you will be overtaken." The stamina to run in life is good grades. He wants to be 1st in class and make his parents proud. In his previous schools he wasn't doing great because their main focus was not academics.He also thinks that schools in USA and Australia are great and India needs lots of improvement in terms of education system.

There was another kid who felt if Schools followed Gurukul system then it would be a better place for education system. (In a gurukul, shishyas/ students reside together as equals, irrespective of their social standing, learn from the guru and help the guru in his day-to-day life, including the carrying out of mundane chores such as washing clothes, cooking, etc.) Not sure how many kids will be ready for this kind of education system, when the world is technology driven. We could definitely take the true essence of Gurukul system and use it in the current education system, but going back to Gurukul method of teaching is something left to choice.

There were students who wanted grade system to be eliminated since it can take the pressure out of them. They want to learn things on their own and not be told by teachers how it should be done and their request is, " No! spoon feeding please!"Guess these kids know that there are many venues for one destination, and they want to choose their path.

On these same lines one kid quoted an interesting quote by Clifford Stoll that ;

‎"Data is not Information;

Information is not Knowledge ;

Knowledge is not Understanding ;

Understanding is not Wisdom."


Teachers were asked if they would appreciate a " 1st rank Student or a student who was a Good Painter but mediocre in studies ". The teacher's opinion was that she will appreciate the 1st rank student and make sure the mediocre gets a better grade as well. One teacher was asked how she would feel all her kids in her class got B/C grades while the next class kids scored A grade. She said she would accept her mistake and discipline herself and teach the same discipline and improve their grades. In my humble opinion teachers should not give so much importance to grades and feel sorry that their kids were only B grade students. Instead they should portray or high lighten the strength of each and every kid.


As parents we were quite divided in our views. There were parents who thought that, if you don't have good grades then you don't have a head start. Grades determine who you are going to be, which esteem colleges you are going to be in and which corporate offices you are going to lead.They also agreed that there are few exceptions to the rule, like Steve jobs, Bill Gates, Sachin Tendulkar and few more who defy grade system.

Myself and another parent's views resonated quite well. We think, attitude, self respect, integrity, discipline and being a good Samaritan / Citizen are the most important things, in today's child, along with education which transforms to knowledge could help the child to see the world in different perspective. Questions raised by judges " Would you like your child to be a 1st Rank holder or 20th rank holder" My take was, every child is special in his or her own way and we have to nurture that specialty in them and mold them accordingly. A 1st rank student might be a book worm, master of only one, but the the 20th rank kid might be " Jack of all trades and master of none"...but he is street smart, agile and has the capability to adapt to any situation.

Just as Oscar Wilde puts it " Education is an admirable thing, but it is good to remember from time to time that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught"

Steve Jobs and Bill Gates were high school or college dropouts, but they turned out to be billionaires and true visionaries. They are the enterprenuers, who had the god given gift which cannot be taught or graded. If you are a free thinker, then the last thing you want to do is to spend time learning and memorizing facts at school. They are unique,thought out of the box and are quite successful.

Admist all this discussion something interesting was shared on a lighter note.

There was a survey of a particular batch of students, who passed out of a college. The top rank students started teaching in a school stated by above average students. These schools were funded by corporate heads who were only average students in college. These huge corporation were funded by below average students, since they had political background and ended up running the nation. There were quite a few who failed miserably, didn't know the meaning of education and so ended up as the underworld Dons, who just had the perfect capability to govern the politicians, corporate and so on and so forth.

I totally agree with this fictional story which is a day to day affair in modern India's education system. The passion for teaching has been slowly eroding from teachers, there are very few who take up teaching profession out of passion. These days education and education system has become business like. Some kids in school said that. my parents have invested money in me, now i must give them back their investment in the form of a 1st rank.. So this will enable the parents to put a higher price tag on their kids during their wedding ? This opens a whole new can of worms or Pandora box.

Definitely, education is quite an investment. I can't fail to comment on the amount of media attention the schools these days want. Every school is racing to showcase on the newspaper, some event or the other that happened in their turf. Bigger picture looks Hunky-Dory, but what about the core values. When we are racing for media attention, are we forgetting to give healthy attention to the kids at school? When schools are taking pride in achievements 24 /7 they are setting anti intellectual environment

There are quite a few authors who resonate with this idea that grades are not the prime most important thing to a child's development. Here are couple of them that i find it interesting...in a child's independent thought process.

From Andrew Clements Book : Frindle

(http://www.andrewclements.com/)

"He really just likes to liven things up at school -- and he's always had plenty of great ideas. When Nick learns some interesting information about how words are created, suddenly he's got the inspiration for his best plan ever...the frindle. Who says a pen has to be called a pen? Why not call it a frindle? Things begin innocently enough as Nick gets his friends to use the new word. Then other people in town start saying frindle. Soon the school is in an uproar, and Nick has become a local hero. His teacher wants Nick to put an end to all this nonsense, but the funny thing is frindle doesn't belong to Nick anymore. The new word is spreading across the country, and there's nothing Nick can do to stop it.

From Andrew Clements Book : Report Card

True or False?

Fifth grader Nora Rose Rowley is really a genius.

True.

But don't tell anyone.

Nora always gets average grades so she can forgo the pressure-cooker gifted program or Brainiac Academy.

But when Nora gets one hundred percent fed up over testing and the fuss everyone makes about grades, she brings home a terrible report card just to prove a point.

Pretty soon her teachers, parents, and the principal are launching a massive effort to find out what's wrong. But can Nora convince them that tests alone are a stupid way to measure intelligence?

Alfie Kohn writes and speaks widely on human behavior, education, and parenting. The author of twelve books and scores of articles, he lectures at education conferences and universities as well as to parent groups and corporations.

Kohn's criticisms of competition and rewards have been widely discussed and debated, and he has been described in Time magazine as "perhaps the country's most outspoken critic of education's fixation on grades [and] test scores."

All said and done, grades will gauge the kids at school, but Corporates seek a multi-faceted talented individual, who has an A+ in attitude, integrity, discipline along with the desired technical skills. Attitude in life is most important. If grades can boost a positive attitude in a child all the time...then i am all for it. But it is going to put my child in the rat race, without knowing where his or her potential is. Then it would be an absolute waste of time going through the entire educational system and coming out not learning what the kid aspires to learn. Every kid should be given the opportunity to pursue excellence in the choices they have made, success will follow them eventually. Well, what is success anyway? We need another panel of discussion for that.

- Janhavee

Maa Durga --- Happy Navrathri

JAI MA JAI MA JAI JAI MA || JAI MA JAI MA JAI JAI MA || JAI MA JAI MA JAI JAI MA

Rituals are Means to an end. The Means should not eclipse the End.India celebrates Dusherra in various styles in different parts of the country. I am fascinated and at awe seeing the Divine Mother. From my childhood days I have always questioned the blindly followed rituals, but we don't get the exact answer that would widen our horizon, do we ? I came across this book called " Our Heritage" published by Chinmaya mission in the late 60s. It has cleared few of my questions and here I share a synopsis of what Durga PuJa is all about.

During Dusherra the three forms of Goddess, Durga, Lakshmi and Saraswati are worshiped. Dusherra is celebrated for 10 special days, which ends with Vijaya Dasami, followed by Visarjana, culmination of Puja.

Durga means the Un-Attainable. She is worshiped as Mahishasuramardhini, the conqueror of the buffalo demon, Mahisha.There is a buffalo in each and every one of us, the slow beast symbolizing ignorance ( Tams), a demon that is hampering our spiritual growth. Buffalo is the vehicle of the God of death, in other words death rides on ignorance. Worship of Durga helps us to conquer ignorance and throws light on the fogged mind and soul. Tremendous of spiritual exercise is needed to attain this Magnificent goddess, DURGA . Many life births and numerous experiences leads us to her. Once we have seen a tiny peek of this Glorious DURGA there is no going back. Sri Ramakrishna Pramahamsa was one of the great souls who conquered Ma Kali or Durga. Once Durga is achieved, Pure Knowledge (Goddess Saraswati) and Abundance of Wealth( Goddess Lakshmi) will surrender to you. But on the contrary when one has seen the Magnificent Light of Durga, “the feeling of the materialistic want” undergoes a sea of change. Prosperity does not depend on the bank balance but our contended attitude towards life is the measure of our prosperity.

The Ritual to attain the unattainable Durga is called the Pu-Ja. Pu ( means purification of the soul and redemption of all sins) and Ja (means putting an end to the endless cycles of birth and death). Puja and all the rituals that go along with it, if performed with right attitude, faith and devotion, will purify our mind and lead us to the final destiny.

Once we begin to aspire for this glorious condition, we would naturally be exuberant. This is the victory of the higher self over the lower self. In each ones life, the day we throw light on our ignorance and see beyond illusions to what is REAL, that day will be the true "Vijaya Dasami" Vijaya Dasami signifies ones victory over the 10 senses, Five senses of perception (Jnanendriyas) and Five organs of action (Karmendriyas).

During the Visarjana (Immersion) ceremony, which is the culmination of all the Pujas, huge idols of Durga, Lakshmi and Saraswati are immersed in the river Ganga (literally means, flow of knowledge). God is Infinite and we are only finitely equipped to understand part of the Truth / God. How can we measure the infinite with the limited resources we have? So, we try to bring down the Infinite Formless God within our limited compass by giving a form and a name. We go from known to the Unknown, from forms to Formless and ultimately knowing thyself which is no different from Thee. This enlightenment leads one to see the we whole world as one homogeneous family and rise up with unconditional love.

Our ancestors knew the right path to the inner self. They introduced this to the society, so that the future generations would evolve mentally, intellectually and spiritually. Did we assimilate their experience? We have only picked up the superficial content and thought that was the complete truth, due to our limitations. All we can do is, ask the Divine Merciful Mother for forgiveness of our ignorance, for we know not what we do and nor what we ought to do.

- Janhavee

Asato Ma Sat Gamaya

Tamaso Ma Jyotir Gamaya

Mrityor Ma Amritam Gamaya

Om Shanti Shanti Shanti.

Translation:

Lead Us From the Unreal To Real,
Lead Us From Darkness To Light,
Lead Us From Death To Immortality,
Aum Let There Be Peace Peace Peace. -

Brihadaranyaka Upanishad 1.3.28.

Word of Wisdom from Winne the Pooh.

We have watched "Winne The Pooh" so many times with our children. There is always something enchanting about the 100 acre woods, Pooh's modesty, Piglet's innocence, Eyeore's ignorance, Rabbit's arrogance,Tigger's loose control attitude, and most of all Christopher Robin's childhood days. Here is something about PURE SIMPLICITY and WISDOM :-)

A Child's Plea to Parents

This was given to every child's parents when my daughter started her 1st preschool...8 years ago.( Shepherd of the Hills Preschool)
I have been looking for this for a long time, i knew i have stashed it away, since it is precious. In the midst of the move, found it and boy! i am glad or what :-).

From: Ann Landers Column

Ann Says " This is an excellent guide for rearing gentile, independent, loving children. I hope many readers will clip it and read it from time to time "

Give me more than food to nourish me. Give me the warmth and security of your love.

Let me enjoy all the five senses. Give me plenty of things to look at, to feel to smell, to listen, to taste and even things to break.

Teach me to take my turn. Watch me play so you can see how i am trying to work out my problems and what i am up against.

When you tell me to do something, please tell me why I should do it. Let me feel that I am a contributing member of the family.

And be sure to include me in making the family plans when you can.

Please don't keep me your baby when I want to feel grown up. Don't transfer your fears to me. I have enough of my own to cope with and i don't need any more.

Help me not to act when I am angry. But don't make me so afraid of showing anger that I lose my capacity to feel strongly about anything.

Let me learn bit by bit to bear pain, to what things but to be strong enough to postpone gratification of certain feelings i'm not yet ready to experience.

Let me try out my new powers as my body develops--to creep, to stand, to walk, climb, jump and run when i am ready.

Don't limit the natural needs of my body because you have some unresolved hangups.

Give me a little corner in the house that is all mine and nobody else's. I need moments of peace and quiet that cannot be invaded by anyone.

Give me my share of consideration and attention. I must know everyday,

even if for just few moments that i am the only one you are thinking about and loving.

Let me ask any question that pops into my head. Don't make me ashamed for having asked it, even if it seems stupid. And give me as honest an answer as you can.

If you don't have an answer, please say so. Its good training to hear someone say, " I don't know, but I will try to find out for you"

Be patient with me when i don't do things very well at first. Remember I have so many things to learn and almost everything takes some practice.

Let me bear the consequences for whatever I do. I need to be punished as well as rewarded. And when you punish me, make sure the punishment fits the "crime"

Above all, grant me , without reservation, your debt to me --Unconditional love. For if i know it is there, i will be able to give the same to my children

and they will be able to give it to their children.

The Little Boy and the Old Man

Shel Silverstein 's book " A light in the Attic" has some great collection of poems for every soul in various flavors.
I took the liberty of presenting it in a photoshop format. Here is one of them.